wedding blogs
Bridal Buzz
by Kate Ancell
Kate has been scoping out the bridal scene for years, from London to Kansas City and everywhere in between. There's almost nothing about weddings that she doesn't know - and she can't wait to share it all with you!
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July 02, 2010 - 3:06 PM
Hey! How are you hanging in there? It's crazy, right? All of a sudden you're not just "you" anymore—you're part of the Engaged Couple. Which in turn means that you're soon to acquire...a mother-in-law. Now, if the two of you already love each other to bits and totally do cocktails and Top Chef together, congratulations. Come back in a few days and I'll have something else for you here.
But. If you don't have a problem-free relationship with your future MIL and you're about to embark upon planning the biggest day of your life (which most of you totally are), let me give you a little bit of advice.
Let the wedding planning be the first thing you "share" with her. Your future mother-in-law is turning her son over to your (possibly, in her eyes, dubious) care. And planning a wedding is stressful and people's nerves to fray. So let her be involved in the decision-making. After all, without her son, none of this would be happening. And she raised him right, didn't she?
You might be surprised, too, to watch your relationship evolve through the process. My mother-in-law and I, surprisingly, bonded over an argument with the cake maker. She stood up for me; I gained respect for her. We still laugh about several fairly major disasters that took place on the day, and stories of the planning, the preparation and the day itself have now entered family lore.
Also, remember that you want her on your side, because there's a fairly important part of the process she's responsible for. And you don't want her waiting for her revenge at the rehearsal dinner. Let this, especially, be an area where the two of you can bond, and where she can feel in charge, involved and part of the action. Be gracious, and give this to her. After all, you two will most likely be sharing a name from now on, so try to present a team front. And if all else fails, grin and bear it. That's what brides do.
Photo by LemonLime Photography